The Line
by Luna34-Rogue
Summary: Mike Cutter has been carrying a burden. The woman he loves is about to walk out of his life forever. What will he do to keep her?
1. Chapter 1

Connie Rubirosa glanced at her boss, Mike Cutter. She was slightly uncomfortable.

The briefs on the table looked ominous. She frowned. After what Cutter pulled at the trial, she didn't want to spend the night working with him. Sure, she understood why he made those wild accusations about the murder being her idea. All part of Cutter's plan. Which he neglected to include her in.

"We should probably get to work, Mike," said Connie sitting at a desk. Adjacent to the desk was Cutter's cluttered desk. He glanced at her, looked down and took his seat.

_She has to be furious with me. I didn't keep her in the loop. It was too risky. I had to! She must understand that. _

"How many do we have again?" he asked sighing.

"102," Connie groaned inwardly. She was not going to enjoy this weekend.

They had just finished 60 of the briefs, 30 for each of them. Connie looked at the clock on the wall. It was 3am. She wanted to go home. She was a hard worker, but since the trial she was beginning to lose trust in him.

_You are strong, Connie. You can't let him get to you. He's just being himself. What did you expect? _

She grew tired and found it hard to stay awake.

"Connie?"

"Yes?"

"Did you want to get something to eat? Chinese maybe? This might be an all-nighter," Cutter glanced at her.

"No, I-," she yawned.

"You know, its late you can go home if you want to."

"No. I want to stay. It's not fair to you," but at the moment she didn't care what was fair to him. She was just trying to be nice.

"I wasn't fair to you today. I should have told you," Cutter sighed.

"That's okay. You did what you had to," She heard the remorse in his voice, but still was hurt and shocked to sat the least. She never thought he would bring it up again. Or admit he was wrong to do so.

"No…I'm really sorry."

Cutter stepped towards her. He looked almost loving to her. She felt the agitation from earlier melt away. She stood up from her chair. Suddenly, his arms were around her. The kiss was gentle. Connie was stunned but she closed her eyes and kissed him back.

"Connie…" he murmured.

Connie woke up from her sleep. She had her head on the desk.

"Connie?"

"I'm sorry Mike. I must have dosed off," she said, embarrassed. Very embarrassed, she felt herself blushing.

"Its okay," he yawned and loosened his tie.

She quickly got back to work, trying to hide her uneasiness.

_Why did I just dream that? I don't feel that way about Mike! Sure, he's attractive but I work with him… This is silly. Get back to work._

Cutter gazed at Connie. It hurt to look at her. Even sleep deprived, she was beautiful. It may have been his own tiredness, but the feelings he had harbored these past few years were surfacing. He remembered when he'd first met her, it put a smile to his face.

"_Ms. Rubirosa, this is Mike Cutter," Said Jack McCoy, the DA of New York City._

"_Hello," Cutter smiled and shook Connie's hand. Almost at once he noticed how attractive she was._

"_Hello, Connie Rubirosa, nice to meet you," She smiled at Cutter._

Coming back to the present, he tore his eyes away from her. Thankfully she didn't notice his stare. Connie closed her eyes. He would give anything to gaze into them. She would kiss him, tell him she loved him…He heard a whimper.

"Connie? Is everything alright?"

"No. Not really. When I saw that man with the gun, I thought for sure he would shoot all of us," she looked down and closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry Connie," Cutter wanted to comfort her some how.

Her trembling voice was unnerving to Cutter. A tear fell form her eye. When Connie realized a tear had escaped she opened her eyes and was mortified when more tears spilled. He knew what he wanted to do. Hold her in his arms and tell her it would be alright. He couldn't. that definitely would be crossing the line. He could name a hundred different ways why that would be wrong. But it broke his heart to see her like this.

_Maybe, if I put my hand on her shoulder. That wouldn't be too bad, would it?_

Cutter did just that. To his astonishment, she took his hand. More tears fell. He wanted to put his arm around her, comfort her with heart felt words.

"You can go home," he said softly.

"No, I'll be right back." she stepped out to go to the women's restroom.

Connie was devastated.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own these Characters.

Note from Author: Hello! Thank you to the lovely people who have faved, alerted, and reviewed! I really appreciate it!

* * *

Connie wanted to scream. She felt like she could just get over it. But, she was human, she had feelings. She hated to show them at work, especially in front of Cutter. But, she was her work. It consumed her. Eat, sleep and work, that's all she did. Connie composed herself. Taking a paper towel, she wiped her tears away. It was hard to give a fake smile to the mirror. She didn't know how to face him now, not after he'd seen her cry. It had never happened before. Exiting the bathroom, she made the seemingly long journey back to the office. Her heals clicked on the tile floor. Reluctantly, she entered the office and saw him there, pacing.

"I'm back," she said confused why he seemed nervous.

"I think we should call it a night," his tone was unreadable.

_Did I do this? Does he want to leave because of my whining? Why did I have to cry now? Couldn't I have waited until I got home?_

"Okay." Connie couldn't help but think it was because of her.

Being careful not to look at him directly, Connie gathered her things. Both of them left the courthouse. They walked side by side not saying a word. Cutter was fed up with the situation. He wanted to say something to her. Something, anything just as long as she felt alright again. He walked her to her car, he didn't normally.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow." she said to Cutter trying to force normality.

"Yeah, goodnight" he smiled.

That was the closest he got to saying 'goodnight.' In another setting it would have been wonderful to say. Accompanied by 'I love you.'

Cutter felt the need to protect Connie. Not knowing he'd become possessive of her.

But it was only natural. He cared for her deeply. It drove him crazy he couldn't have her. This never happened to him. He'd never felt this way about any woman. As hard as it was to believe. He didn't dare think it could be love. It couldn't be. Too many factors were against him. He didn't even know if she had a boyfriend. He didn't want to leave her. What if she went home and cried all night? He wanted to tell her it would be alright. He stood there next to her as about to get into the car.

_Why is he still standing here? Can't he let me go home? I don't want to even go back tomorrow!_

"Mike? I need to go home. I have to get some sleep. I'll be here early tomorrow. I was thinking I could get here by 7."

"Yeah, 7 is fine," Cutter's thoughts drifted away.

"Okay, then I'll see you tomorrow," she forced a smile.

"Yeah."

She got in her car trying not to notice he was watching her drive away.

When Connie got home it was already 4 am. If she went to sleep now, she might fit at most 3 hours of sleep in. She put on her pajamas and crawled into bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

When Cutter got to his apartment he was utterly exhausted. He fell onto the bed with his clothes on. Yet, as hard as he tried, he couldn't fall asleep.

Cutter didn't end up sleeping at all that night. When 6 am rolled around he got up and went to the bathroom to was his face. He splashed some water on his face and dried off with a towel. Looking up, he saw his reflection of the mirror. Cutter shuffled his way into he kitchen for a large cup of coffee. As the coffee was brewing, he sat at the table and stared blankly at nothing in particular. Thinking about Connie, he half smiled. He would see her again today and all weekend. It was Saturday. Only 2 days more. Normally didn't like working on Saturdays. But if it mean spending time with her… They would be working their asses off. There would be no time for Cutter to daydream.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS.

**Authors Note:** Here's Chapter 3. Now, it might take me a little longer to get Chapter 4, so if you guys would be patient with me, that would help. I hope this isn't too much of a cliff hanger. Let me know if it is. :)

* * *

Connie woke up to the sound of her alarm. She groaned and slowly sat up. It made her very uneasy what she had dreamt last night. Her second dream involving Cutter. Connie wished she could take it back. But after what she'd seen it in her dream, there was no use trying to forget. This dream was more intense than the last one. It felt more real.

They were in a field with violets and daffodils. The wind was blowing softly. She had been wearing a yellow flower patterned dress and white shoes. Cutter was pushing her on a swing. They were laughing about something. Cutter stopped pushing her, pulled her to him, and wrapped his arms around her waist. He whispered something in her ear and she giggled. Connie turned to look at him and put her hand on his. She could feel the softness of his skin. Slowly, he leaned in to kiss her. It was pure, sweet kiss. That's when she woke up.

This was more than she could handle. That was saying a lot. Every time she saw him she would think of the kisses in the dreams. The worst of it all was she knew deep down she liked having them. She trudged into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. As she was waiting for it to brew, she stared out the window. Her thoughts turned to Cutter. Connie wondered what it would really be like to kiss him. She smiled slightly, then frowned.

_This cannot happen. Mike is my boss. I can't have feelings for him._

As Connie headed out the door, she wondered if Cutter ever thought about her late at night when he couldn't sleep. Connie also wondered if she would start to have thoughts like that. She scolded herself and swore she would not think about him in that way today.

* * *

When Connie arrived at the office, Cutter was already there.

"Hi, Mike."

"Hi," Cutter noticed something in her facial expression was different and she was fidgeting.

"Connie, are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm Fine."

"Good. Let's get to work."

Despite Connie's conflicting emotions, they were able to go most of the day without any awkward moments or instances. The Chinese take-out was on the table, mostly eaten. The sun was setting and they were both growing tired. Cutter looked noticeably fatigued.

"You look like you didn't sleep at all last night," Connie mused.

"That's because I didn't," Cutter said casually.

"How come?" She took a sip of her drink.

"It's not important," He frowned.

Connie furrowed her brow. She noticed herself looking at his mouth. Cutter observed her. She seemed genuinely concerned. Cutter then had an epiphany. He started to wonder if he really could love her. When he knew what he wanted he went for it. But this was different. This was Connie. She was perfect. If someone were to ask him what he wanted in a partner, he would list every single one of her qualities. Cutter knew he had to choose his words carefully. He wanted to tell her he was in love with her. Cutter took a deep breath.

"Connie… I have to talk with you about something."

Connie looked like she was deep in thought. She was smiling. Her mind had wandered over into the dream from last night. Cutter cleared his throat.

"Yes?" Connie looked like she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"Connie, you've been like this all day, it's not like you to have your head in the clouds."

"You said you had something to talk with me about?" She tried to change the subject.

"If there's something wrong, you can tell me," he said softly.

"Nothing's wrong. I think we should get back to work," Connie tried to keep her tone pleasant.

Cutter saw right through it. He looked at her incredulously. Connie sighed.

"Unlike you, I've been sleeping too well."

"What do you mean?"

"I've been having dreams about you."

"Good ones?" Cutter looked amused.

Connie frowned and got up from her seat. She walked over to the bookshelf with the many law books and faced it. She couldn't believe she was admitting this now. Not when she promised herself it wouldn't bother her.

"Yes," she said softly.

Cutter stepped over to her. He was about a foot away from her now. Connie noticed his presence behind her. She turned around slowly and looked into his eyes. She'd never seen that expression from him before. Connie's thoughts then drifted back to the dreams. This was her chance to kiss him for real. She tilted her head towards him. Cutter wanted to kiss her so badly. He didn't want to seem too eager. It might scare her off.

Their lips touched slowly. Connie was hesitant, she knew this would change everything. Her entire body grew warm. The kiss deepened. Then, it was almost like her lips had a mind of their own. She pulled Cutter closer and wrapped her arms around him. Cutter didn't realize how much he wanted her until this moment. He was waiting for her to pull back. When she didn't, and put his arms around her and lost himself in the kiss.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to kiss you," Cutter said, searching for affirmation.

"Really?" Connie smiled.

"Yeah," Cutter looked down. His hair fell in his face.

Cutter was relieved that she smiled. Maybe it was an indication that she liked it, that she could love him back. They were still holding each other. Cutter wanted to kiss her again. He wasn't sure if he should. If she stopped him he didn't know what he would do. But after all she was the one who initiated the kiss, he just happily complied.

He leaned in for the next kiss...


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclamer: I do not own these characters.**

**Author's Note:** Sorry it took so long, but here it is! hope you like it!

* * *

The next kiss was less hesitant and more intense. They made noises of passion and longing. They were on the verge of losing control. Cutter wanted to lose control. His heart knew he wanted this and it felt right. His head was warning him. The rational part of him knew that this could either ruin everything. Or set into motion what he wanted for so long. Obviously, he hoped it would be the latter of the two. Cutter was starting to tremble with anticipation.

Connie was equally as heated up as Cutter was. Though, it was more external rather than a deep love. The longing was absolutely there none the less. She was starting to wonder how far this was going to go and how far she would let it go. Connie had to admit she hadn't felt this way in a long time. She held onto him tightly.

"Mike…" she whispered.

But as good as this all felt, Connie wanted to tell him no. She knew what would come of this. A one night stand. Then it would never be spoken of again. But, Cutter had surprised her before. What if he didn't forget about it? What if it became something more? That scared her even more than the one night stand scenario. With that thought in her mind, she pushed him away.

"Mike, we need to stop."

With those words Cutter's heart sank.

"Why?" Cutter's eyes started to well up with tears, but he refused to let them fall.

"We can't. I can't." Connie's eyes did the same, but one small tear escaped.

"Okay. I wish this could have turned out differently, but okay. I can deal with it."

"It's not like I didn't enjoy it, Mike. I just can't. You understand, right?" Connie's heart broke for him.

"Yeah, I do." he sighed.

Cutter didn't think it would turn out to be this way. Then again, he couldn't expect Connie to love him like he loved her. If he told her would that make a difference? It was worth a try. After all, how could things get any worse?

Connie had gathered up her things to leave. Without a word she left the office. Cutter rushed after her.

"Connie, Wait," he caught up to her.

She turned around. He could tell her eyes were watery.

"I have to tell you something. I'm just going to say it. Connie, I love you."

Connie's mouth nearly dropped open.

"Mike, I had no idea. I wish I would have known earlier. I never would have kissed you. I'm sorry."

It just got worse. She regretted kissing him! He did make things worse.

"So do you just go around kissing people?" Cutter's was heart was crushed and he was angry.

"No. I wanted to kiss you. I just wouldn't have if I'd known your feelings. Mike, I know your hurt-"

"Connie, you don't know the half of it. I'll see you on Monday," with an empty look, he walked away.

"Mike!" Connie called after him.

He didn't turn around.

"Mike, please," she caught up to him and gripped his shoulder. Connie had a surprisingly strong grip.

Cutter finally acknowledged her.

"I'm sorry, I really am," she hugged him.

"I don't want this to get complicated," he whispered in her ear.

The words sent shivers down Connie's spine. He was so close to her.

_Why did I say 'I never would have kissed him?'_

She still held onto him. She wanted to make him feel better. Unfortunately, she knew what that meant. Kiss him again. Connie didn't want to confuse him more. She let go of him. But she decided to tell him the thoughts that had been running through her mind that morning. Maybe that would ease his pain.

"Mike, I have to admit something. The dreams aren't all that I've kept from you. I've also been thinking about you, a lot. Before I kissed you, it was this morning when I fantasized about it. I wanted to try, but I promise I never meant to hurt you."

Cutter looked thoughtful for a moment. Connie waited a little on edge for his response.

"You want to try again?" he asked.

He put his arms around her and kissed her. He never wanted to stop. What had begun in the office continued in the front of the building. Connie was still a little skeptical. But the way he kissed her reassured her that he did love her. It scared her and excited her at the same time. Maybe that was all she wanted. Maybe that was all she needed. To be loved. This kissing stopped after sometime.

"Mike, we're not going to let it get complicated, okay?" she said softly, slightly out of breath.

"Okay," he kissed her forehead.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry for the LONG break. but here is Chapter 5. Enjoy! I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS.**

Connie went home that night smiling. She was in a relationship with Cutter. He loved her. She thought in time she could love him back. She smiled wider at the thought. Her phone buzzed she hoped it was cutter. It was a voice mail. But, he wouldn't call this soon, would he? It was a number she didn't recognize. It was a different area code too.

"Hi Connie! This is Brenda Morrison, from college! Listen I'm coming to New York for a couple of days and I thought we could get together for some drinks. It's been a long time girl." she sounded reminiscent.

Brenda gave her number and where she'd be staying, followed by "see you soon."

How fun! Connie thought. Her old college roomie. She remembered the laughs they shared, the tears, and a fair share of mischief. Connie would call her tomorrow. Right now, it was time for bed.

When Cutter got in he was beyond happy. The song _I'm Walking On Sunshine _crept into his mind. He laughed. This was great. Connie was his, finally his! He tried to remind himself that he couldn't rush things. Connie might not feel the same way immediately. Cutter told himself he would be patient. It would be difficult, but he'd waited this long, what harm could a few more weeks do? Then another thought crept into his mind. What if it took her months? Or a year, or years? He frowned. It couldn't take her that long. Not after the way she kissed him. Satisfied with that answer he took a shower and went to bed.

The next morning, Connie woke up to the sound of the alarm.

_7am? Oh that's right, I set it that way yesterday._

She rolled over and smiled thinking about last night in the office and the parking lot. She slept for another two hours then got up to make coffee. Connie drank her coffee in silence. She thought of what it would be like to be sitting there with Cutter, planning out their Sunday. She smiled widely. She wondered if she should call him. She decided it wouldn't be too soon. She wanted to hear his voice. His voice mail picked up. She didn't know what to say in a message. She hung up. Connie sighed and decided to call Brenda.

They decided to meet up at Connie's favorite café, The Smooth Café, for lunch. Connie and Brenda hugged as a greeting.

"Con! Gosh, girl it has been so long!" Brenda said with glee.

"I know!" Connie said matching her enthusiasm.

They caught up a bit before ordering.

"So tell me what have you been up to?" Brenda asked her.

"Working, I'm an ADA."

"Oh Connie, I'm so proud of you! Though, I thought for sure you'd have your own practice by now. Is working all you've been up to? Do you have a boyfriend?" Brenda looked down, stirred her coffee and smiled.

"I do." Connie smiled and looked down and to her surprise, blushed.

"Tell me all about him!" Brenda smiled and bit her lip.

"Well, his name is Mike- Connie started.

"Is he hot?"

Connie laughed

"Oh yeah," she pictured mike in her head.

"But he is so much more than that Bren. He's so smart, he's-"

"What does he do?"

Connie gulped. Surely, she could trust Brenda with her secret.

"He's the Executive Assistant District Attorney,"

"Wait, he's not…your boss?"

"Yeah."

"Connie…" Brenda warned.

"It's not like that Bren. We're not going to let it get complicated."

Brenda clicked her tongue.

"Brenda!" Connie said in a harsh voice.

"Okay, okay. Hey, check out that hottie across the street buying flowers. His girlfriend or wife must be a lucky woman."

Connie looked. It was Cutter.

_He's buying flowers for me! _

"Yes, she is. That's him."

"Really? Aww, flowers. You sure know how to pick them, Con. I know, call him over here!" Brenda smiled.

"Okay," Connie took out her cell and dialed Cutter.

"Hey, its Connie."

"Hey, Honey. Hmm, too soon for Honey?"

"No, I don't think so," Connie giggled.

"I'm across the street at the café. There's some one I want you to meet here."

"Okay, I'll be right there. Bye."

"Bye." Connie hung up.

"Is he coming?" Brenda asked excitedly.

"Yeah." Connie smiled.

Cutter got there quickly.

Cutter and Connie greeted each other with a kiss.

"Mike, this is my college room mate, Brenda Morrison."

"Hi, Ms. Morrison. I'm Mike Cutter."

"Call me Brenda," she shook his hand vigorously.

Mike smiled at her.

"Here, these are for you." Mike said, remembering the flowers.

"Thank you," Connie beamed at him.

"You want to sit?" Brenda asked Mike.

"Sure."

The three of them talked well into the mid afternoon. Connie tried to steer clear of how she and Mike got together. But that topic came up anyway. With Brenda she knew it was bound to.

"So when did you two start dating?" Brenda smiled widely.

"Brenda, I can tell you later, I don't want to embarrass Mike."

"Nonsense, I'm sure Mike wouldn't mind."

"A year ago," Mike blurted.

Connie tried to hide her surprise and put her hand on his and squeezed it.

"Ow." Mike mouthed.

"Right. A year ago. Almost to the day. In fact, I think its our anniversary. Isn't that why you brought me flowers, Mike?"

"No. I did it because I love you." He kissed her passionately on the mouth.

When the kiss was over, Connie gave Brenda a apologetic look. Connie was taken aback by Cutter's kiss and was a little dizzy from the aftershock. Brenda blinked cleared her throat. Cutter, meanwhile was looking at Connie like she was the 8th world wonder.

"Bren. I think Mike and I have to go. I'll call you tonight," they hugged and Connie made sure Brenda left first.

"What the hell was that?" Connie said after Brenda was out of ear shot.

"What?" Cutter acted innocent.

"We've been dating a year? Then you kiss me like that in front of her? What's gotten into you?"

"She was being nosey…"

"She's just like that. Kissing in front of her was rude."

"I'm sorry Connie. I didn't know you were that old fashioned."

"I'm not."

Connie was telling the truth. Cutter was right, Brenda was nosey. And a adulteress.

It was their senior year of college, fight before spring finals. Brenda was making a B in Algebra and she needed an A to keep her perfect 4.0. Since she was terrible at studying, she felt her only option was to sleep with the professor. Connie highly disapproved of this and warned her not to, that they'd get caught. He was married. But the professor's wife never found out and Brenda got her A.

Connie saw the way her long time friend had been looking at Cutter at lunch. Not obvious, but Connie knew Brenda and she was defiantly checking him out. She was worried she might pull the same thing with him. But Brenda wouldn't do that. Not to her. They were practically sisters. She shook it off and Connie and Cutter left the café.


End file.
